Hey guys... I am sick again. D: My left ear feels like there is cotton in it and I think I have the cold. Jeez, I hope this goes away soon.

But that is not the reason why I decided to post this. Friday night, at the homecoming football game, I realized something. Since probably July, I have truly felt... Nothing really. I wanted to say to myself that I am happy or excited for something but those feel like lies now. I don't know what may be wrong with me but I honestly don't feel anything, even right now. I only realized this because I was talking to someone that I am friendly with but hardly ever talk to. I guess that's because I felt alone all night, even though I was surrounded by other people. This... Emptiness... might be the reason why I haven't done much with anyone at all recently. To tell the truth, the last time I probably felt something might have been Halloween but that was because I met this guy and talked to all night. Last night, I couldn't sleep because this was bothering me that much. I honestly don't know if something is wrong in my life but... Deep down, I see myself just dragging this body around day after day, at school, home and at karate. If my current state has bothered anyone at all recently, I apologize deeply. I don't mean to offend anyone at all.

On another note, according to certain people and what I have seen, I have lost great respect of one my longest friends. I guess this what high school teaches you: learn to drop the friends you don't need and won't talk to after all this is through. Maybe that's another reason why I am in this state. I'm realizing just how much people don't me or I don't need in the future. That hurts knowing that...

Sorry for wasting your time with this journal. I simply needed to let go of this.